It Must Be The Hormones....

I dunno. 

I just don't feel like I'm myself this week.
A lot of things in my head and unexpected events.. I find it hard to focus.
I feel this urge to vanish for a while and take a closer look
at the progress (if any) that I've done so far.

No fancy topics this time. Sorry

I just wanna be myself and be human...
.. it has been a while since I last tasted my own tears..
I know this is just a passing thing...
I just wanna acknowledge the pain..
No more asking why...

I've got so many things to do...
Projects are piling up..
My mind bursting with so many ideas
... but can't seem to find the means and the people
to help me accomplish them.

Funny how people can change in such a drastic way.
... that you cannot even fathom how you were
able to live with them for so long.
It's sad to see how they have evolved as monsters...
.. and at the back of my head, I'm wondering if I had something to do with it.

I feel alone...
Though I have much love that surrounds me and much activities
to do.... a part of me still  is screaming from within.
Sometimes, I enjoy solitude and there are also times wherein
I wanted a little comfort. Part of human nature...

Sometimes I wanna  breakaway from certain people
whom I know are not really supporting me but are only
rubbing elbows with me because of the little influence which I carry.
I have identified all of them by now...


I'm tired of being used...
My creative ideas.. oftentimes stolen from me..
... with no one to defend me.

If only I was rude enough to give them the finger and
say "FUCK YOU!" at their faces..
.... nah! I wasn't raised that way.
It's not queenly. =)


How do I feel now? I feel like a late bloomer...
I feel I missed out on a lot and I'm just starting my life again..
It's the morning of my life. I just wanna do the things which I failed
to do before.


Sometimes I even feel like taking a vow of silence
and keep things to myself....
... and try not to see and talk with people for a while...
... and be forgotten....

... this I have yet to learn.

I don't wanna walk this lonely street anymore...